High Five Friday

It’s nearly September and football’s on my mind! As the final preseason game draws near, I will use today’s column to discuss the five most interesting storylines of the coming season for the Minnesota Vikings! No, I’m just kidding. Living my formative years in the Vikings’ media market appropriately jaded me to professional football. Plus, the intersecting performance of so many different players on each play makes statistical analysis very gooey and arbitrary. If you don’t believe me, check out yesterday’s Football Scientist column from ESPN insider, where he tells us that he has developed very advanced statistical metrics to measure QBs, such as watching game tape to decide whether each decision was “good” or “bad.” Sounds to me like it’s good enough for government work. Not statistical analysis though.

To baseball:

Zack Duke turned his ankle in an awkward retreat to second base after a line-drive this week. The injury should only cost him one start, but it simultaneously slows down the buzz factory and cripples my fantasy team in the middle of a showdown for a first round playoff bye. Nonetheless, Duke will avoid the DL with what the team is calling a “medium strain” of his push ankle, which may be a blessing in disguise for a young pitcher who is approaching 200 IP for the first time. The Bucs were said to be looking for ways to rest their young stud, and his mild injury gives them an easy way to explain that to their fans. If Duke can pass through the injury matrix without as much noise in his arm as Oliver Perez and Sean Burnett, Pittsburgh could soon field one of the scariest southpaw trios in memory. Will Carroll recently compared Zack Duke to a young Tom Glavine (who doesn’t look so good now, but was remarkably dominant for about 10 years), which would give the Pirates two legitimate lefty aces who strike out hoards, and one who is already decidedly crafty at a young age.

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Curt Schilling wasn’t very good in his return to the rotation, but he wasn’t that bad either. Through five innings, he had a strong 5:1 K/BB ratio and didn’t surrender a HR. Indeed, he gave up nine hits to the worst team in the Major Leagues, of those nine, only two were XBH, and those went to David Dejesus and Mike Sweeney (both deserving ML’ers). The BoSox went with their defense-first lineup in their ace’s rotation return, benching Ortiz in favor of Manny at the DH and giving Alex Cora the spot at 2B. Still, the defense is not very strong, starting Kevin Millar in the OF and vastly overrated Edgar Renteria next to Bill Mueller on the left side. The defense isn’t atrocious, but Schilling allowed an acceptable number of balls in play and gave up six ER in five IP, so some of the blame has to fall on the men behind him. I don’t mean to say that Schilling’s return was a success, but it wasn’t much of a failure either.

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Tony LaRussa recently passed Sparky Anderson on the all-time managerial victory list, which is cause for recognition at the very least. While it is very difficult to measure a manager’s contribution to a team’s success, a manager with great longevity, such as LaRussa or Bobby Cox, can only survive through winning. While Connie Mack built up a probably insurmountable record of over 3,700 career wins (LaRussa is closing in on 2,200), he did so while also owning the Philadelphia A’s. He never faced the threat of losing his job, and even sold off the team’s best players, like HOF’ers Johnny Mize and Lefty Grove in the mid-1930s to save money. While the structure of modern baseball will probably prevent anyone from approaching Mack, LaRussa’s accomplishments are no less impressive. His days with the White Sox are not particularly memorable, but he won a couple pennants and a World Series with the A’s in the late 80s with thrilling personalities such as Rickey Henderson, Jose Canseco, Mark McGwire, Dave Stewart and Dennis Eckersley. For better or worse, he pioneered the one-inning relief ace concept that made stars out of Mariano Rivera and Eric Gagne in addition to his own closers. He also smoothly transitioned into the National League, where his tinkering style was more appreciated. He even has a law degree from FSU. After another flag in St. Louis, LaRussa belongs in the pantheon of all-time greats, and he’s one of my personal favorites.

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I think it’s finally time to admit failure in picking the Dodgers to win the NL West. If a staggering amount of injuries weren’t going to hold them out of the divisional race to the bottom, then the falling out between their two best remaining players probably will. After Milton Bradley failed to score from second on a single, Jeff Kent accused him of not knowing how to play the game, which Bradley interpreted as a racially charged statement. Bradley lashed out at Kent, and soon thereafter decided to have season ending surgery on a knee that could have been braced and operated on after the season. Bradley was probably in an intense amount of pain, but the feud between him and Kent certainly made his decision easier. For all of their troubles, both men have performed through the season. Bradley has the second best OPS of his career, with the best coming in Jacobs Field, a less staggering pitchers park. Jeff Kent went from the Houston launching pad to Chavez Ravine and actually increased his OPS slightly in a down year for offense. People keep saying he’s a borderline HOFer, but if he never declines he could cement his spot in Cooperstown before he’s done. It’s a shame that this team had to be torn apart by injuries and turmoil; they certainly don’t lack talent.

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As for the most important story of the week, I feel bad for the batboy who got suspended after losing the “drink a gallon of milk in an hour without throwing up” bet to Brad Penny. First of all, where did Penny find an hour to hang out with a bat boy? But more importantly, this should serve as a lesson not to stock the team’s management with curmudgeons like Jack McKeon. I’ve had my share of gallon-of-milk challenges, and it really doesn’t hurt anyone more than the one who tries it. Everyone else gets a good laugh, and there is obviously no reason to suspend him. At least the Ft. Myers Miracle offered him an honorary batboy position during his suspension, and the Got Milk? people offered him the lost $500 and his missing wages from the suspension.